I would like to share with you what I call “My Gigi Moment” from the movie “He is just not that into you” … It was a beautiful summer night in the Sonoran desert. The sky was full of shiny stars and the wind was blowing a cool breeze. It was the perfect night for my first college party. I arrived with my girlfriends to the party. It was great! Everyone was there, they had live music (I couldn’t believe that, I mean… We were college kids!), the drinks were flowings and… (of course) I was wearing my trendiest outfit. Suddenly the party got even better… “The guy” I’d had the biggest crush on for the last 2 years arrived (fashionably late, of course).
I was sitting on a bench when he approached me. We totally hit it off! He wouldn’t move from my side. We talked all night, we danced, we kissed! He told me he had the biggest crush on me and that he wanted me to be his girlfriend! We exchanged numbers at the end of the night and he assured me that he would call the next day to set a date. I was in heaven!
The next day (Saturday), I woke up in the best mood EVER! Obviously, I cancelled all weekend plans to patiently wait for his call as if I was chained to the phone in my room! (I had a landline).
Bored of TV reruns and hungry for snacks to cure my anxiety, I decided to unchain myself for a brief moment and go to a little store near my house. I so wish someone would have videotaped this, –I mean –I didn’t walk; I SPRINTED to the store in 120˚ weather! I seriously think I might have broken a speed record! You can understand, right? If he called during those 4 minutes, I wouldn’t be able to talk to him, which I had been waiting for ALL day long! Well.. more like… ALL year long!
Once I caught my breath from that Olympic record sprint, I asked my mom if anyone had called me (I’ll never forget the way she looked at me, it was one of those… did you ever leave? Are you okay?) She said no, so, I proceeded to my bedroom to chain myself again.
There were so many thoughts running through my mind about “why” he hadn’t called me…you know, the typical…
Maybe I gave him the wrong number, maybe he lost it, maybe someone stole his phone, maybe it broke, I mean… I even thought that maybe he had a car accident or someone in his family DIED!
I know… I did go all the way with excuses on why he hadn’t called. The only thing I didn’t think was… That maybe he just didn’t like me that much and just pretended to like me at the party. Why? That continues to be a mystery to me.
By Sunday afternoon, I was furious that I wasted a whole weekend waiting for someone to call me. I was thinking… Seriously! What’s wrong with me?! So, I got the courage to pick up the phone and call him.
Once he picked up he was like, –“Fernanda? Who?” He didn’t remember which Fernanda, so I had to go through the embarrassment of explaining which Fernanda (please insert my agony here). I couldn’t believe it! Clearly he had no intention to call, and he never did. After that, for the next 2 years, we never, EVER crossed paths again; I made sure of that.
Not too long ago, I had a similar experience. I took a temporary gig at a high-end resort. There, I met “Andrea”. After a couple of weeks, we became good coworkers. She used to say to me – “Fernanda, it’s great that we met. I would love to be better friends and get drinks sometime after work. Text me your number so I can save it!”
During those three months, I suggested to go out twice and texted her twice. She never replied to my texts and always declined my offers with the excuse, “I am sorry, I don’t have time today.” She never suggested a different time for us to hangout either, which was very confusing because it was her idea in the first place.
On one afternoon, and the last time I ever spoke to her, we had a very brief but deep conversation. By the end of the conversation she asked me to text her again.
I said… “Again?! I Already texted you twice, so… you never saved my number?”
She responded, “Oh no! sorry, I deleted it”. Then she went on and on about how hard it is for her to meet up with friends, how she never has time, and most importantly, that I had to get used to that.
I was like… wait, what?!
Get used to that?! HA! I am not the Gigi I used to be!
I thought about texting one more time, but honestly, I was just not interested anymore. She already showed me that she was not interested in getting to know me, right? I mean don’t you save the person’s number immediately if you actually care to know them? How long does it take you to save a phone number?
I still don’t understand people like them, why do they pretend to be interested in getting to know you when they aren’t? Why? Why?! WHY?!
Well… as Mr. Jim Rohn would say, “Mysteries of the mind, and I’ll just leave it at that”.
The truth is, someone who is interested in getting to know you won’t just say it, they will show it. They will SAVE your number to contact you. They will try to spend time with you no matter what; even if someone in their family did die, they will still let you know.
Right? Wouldn’t you do that if you want to show you value someone’s friendship? I know I would.
On the other hand, a while ago I met a pretty nice girl. She was the roommate of the guy I was dating. I stopped dating her roommate so I never saw her again until a year later. I took a job downtown LA and realized we worked on the same block! I immediately sent her a text letting her know about this and that we should grab lunch sometime.
Her response… Yes, let’s set a day!
Do you see the difference?… We did meet for lunch, and even though our lunch was only 17 min because she didn’t have a lot of time for lunch break, she made time for us to hang out. From that short lunch we became great friends, and even in our crazy-busy lives we still make time to see each other.
It took me a LONG time to really understand that saying… “actions speak louder than words” and to be honest with myself when those actions mean the person is not that into me, even if it hurts or disappoints me.
I am sure we all have had a “Gigi Moment”, and that’s okay. It’s part of learning. The problem is when you keep having “Gigi Moments” all the time. We all have the same amount of time in our days, but it’s how much we value ourselves and value others that drive our relationships forward. So…is it time or is it interest?