Open mind, not open legs

Open mind, not open legs

“I am a very open-minded person and that means letting myself go with my sexuality.” That’s what he said ­–literally. Open minded or Promiscuous? Sometimes we don’t know the definition of words and we use them incorrectly. Other times we do, but choose to distort their meaning to justify ourselves or make us feel better. It’s easier that way.

What is being open-minded?

Being open-minded, by definition, means being willing to hear and analyze evidence for and against an idea, and only then forming a conclusion about that idea. It is also not forcing your way of thinking onto others who have reached different conclusions.  

An open mind is not a mind without standards or beliefs.

I have been very lucky to have the mother I do. She has always been willing to hear other opinions and make a decision of her own, and this is exactly what she thought me.

When I was about 10 years old, everyone in my class got enrolled in Saturday church class to prepare for First Communion. Honestly, this was not important to me. I had zero pressure from my parents to do this and waking up early every Saturday was an unnecessary sacrifice. So I decided that I was not going to do it.

On one Saturday morning, my friend “Pancho” came to pick me up to go to church. He assumed that, just like everyone else, I was also going to start my classes that day. I told him I was not going–that I didn’t want to give up my cartoons for it. He then asked if my parents approved of this and I said yes. First, he was confused, then he became visibly upset and disapproved of my decision. Why? Because he wanted to spend more time with me and my decision was getting in the way of what he wanted.

It was easy to face one disapproving friend, but once everyone found out, the social pressure was on! so I enrolled ☹️, then quit🙄, then went back and finished my classes🤓.

This back and forth was because, even though I had the liberty at home to do what I wanted, I was still influenced by what society thought of me or what was socially acceptable. After my First Communion, I felt accepted.  But this acceptance didn’t last long because, after that, you have to do Confirmation, get married at a church, and go to church every Sunday. Doing my First Communion was just a quick fix but not in the long run–It was just a way to be accepted in the short-term. I would still have to constantly change things about myself and my beliefs to be accepted, even if those went against what I actually wanted or believed.

Society hasn’t changed much and neither have I,  I am not a kid anymore but, I still feel the social pressures and I am still an open-minded person. Although I don’t feel pressured by society to go to church every weekend, like I did then,  I do feel the social pressure to be promiscuous.

To be or not to be (Promiscuous), that is the question (in the dating scene).

Last night at dinner, my friend from Spain was eager to talk to us about his latest sexual escapade. I asked him, how are Spanish men and women in this regard? He described them and himself as “open-minded people”. So I asked, “do you know what being open mind means?” He proceeded to give me a definition of the meaning, but in reality, he was giving me the dictionary definition of a different word…  Promiscuity.

Promiscuity: A common pattern of behavior in which sex is valued for its variety and immediate gratifications rather than as one of the important bases for a long-term relationship. 

Interestingly enough, him a so-called “open-minded person” was making fun of my beliefs and the way I behave when it comes to sex and dating. He was describing me as a ‘prude’ as if I was the last of a gravely endangered species. 

“Promiscuity” and “open-mindedness” are not mutually exclusive terms, but the question is…are you using the proper definition of “open-mindedness” or one warped by society?

Have you ever been called “prude”, “slut”, or even worse… (insert dramatic music here) “closed-minded”😳? Well, I certainly have. Can you be a prude and a slut? –I don’t think so.

So, should you be promiscuous or not?

Well, that is up to you. If you believe in this new-age social trend of promiscuity and it makes you happy, by all means, go for it! But if you are doing it because you don’t want to feel inadequate according to social standards, I can tell you that just like my childhood story, this is just a short-term fix until you realize you are not being true to yourself.

I suggest being open-minded and look at the pros and cons of promiscuity and make your own decision. Who cares if someone calls you a prude, a slut, or closed-minded? Nobody will know how you feel better than yourself. Trust your “gut feeling” and be you–whether that means aligning yourself with social trends or going outside of them. 

Follow:
Share the post!

8 Comments

  1. Patricia
    November 30, 2017 / 11:52 am

    Lovely!

    • FERNANDA
      Author
      December 18, 2017 / 1:03 pm

      I am glad you enjoyed it! I was quite nervous about this one 😀

  2. Jackie
    January 9, 2018 / 8:30 am

    I totally 💯 agree fer…thanks to share ….one more thing to know about you🌹

    • FERNANDA
      Author
      January 25, 2018 / 2:14 pm

      Thank you lovely!

  3. Rick Rowell
    January 12, 2018 / 5:38 pm

    Well written and well said.

    • FERNANDA
      Author
      January 25, 2018 / 2:14 pm

      Thank you Rick!
      It means so much coming from a man too!

  4. January 20, 2018 / 6:36 pm

    Baby this post is life! I think it’s super important for everyone, but especially women, to stand up for their beliefs. Proud of you girlie! x

    • FERNANDA
      Author
      January 25, 2018 / 2:15 pm

      Thank you love! I am glad you like it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *